Back to Reality

Today was my first day back in the office. I've been away for officially 25 days. Left on the 3rd and went back to the office today, the 28th. So what was it like?

First of all, I was a tad bit excited to see my projectmates after a month. I haven't heard from them since my vacay started, which leads me to believe they've been doing well (and my transition was pretty ok). I was surprised to find different people in different seats and a slew of fresh new faces. We have expats visiting this week. Mr. Expat distributed his goodies to everyone in the project (all 38 kilos of them), and I shyly put mine away. Haha. They were a lot compared of what I had.

I couldn't help but feel sad, being back. I've quickly gone over and archived my 351 emails. Yas noticed how quiet I've been throughout the day (considerably quiet). Later, we shared some of our sentiments. Right now I guess, my general feeling is sadness. I have that heavy feeling in my heart again (that oh-so-familiar feeling I had left on the 2nd of April, but which quickly came to visit me on one of the days we were on the road to Austria). It's just so much easy to turn my back on this emotional baggage, never to look back, and start anew. A fresh slate. A clean, new start. Perhaps this is what attracts people to immigrate elsewhere. Yas is saying that I'll prolly get my work groove back and will cease feeling this way in a few weeks. This sadness is most likely post-vacay-depression (which I had last 2004, when our Uh_huh2004 trip ended).

This trip has most definitely opened my eyes to the possibilities outside my little world here in Manila. There is sooo much more to see out there. So many more people to meet. But this I have to say. Filipino guys are pretty awesome (generally). Hahaha. They treat girls like ladies and they take care of them (typically, haha!).

I said a prayer at the Notre Dame Cathedral, and Bawani vouched for its likelihood to become true. I've been praying for the same thing for years and years now. Karina said that perhaps in God's time. I've had a thought that maybe it's been right in front of me all this time, and I just haven't seized it. Oh well. I think I'll know it when I see it.