Thursday at Home...

There was something about yesterday that really got to me.

I found out that two of my former teammates turned in their resignation letters. I am super happy for them. For years now, we've been talking about moving on to bigger things outside the realm of ACN. And as of today, almost all my former teammates have taken that step. Ivan, Daisy, Aui, and Mackie have left for the US, Maila is with Kamiseta, Mark, Jozie, and Rachelle are in HP, Chae is in Kaisa, Rodel is in Singapore, Greg was with HP (I dunno where he is now), and in a month, the 2 As are officially new employees to their respective new companies. Left behind... Me, Sid, Amery, Gladys, and Zalggy.

I was talking to Karina, venting. She said, "I thought we were over this phase of yours." She was of course referring to my desire to leave work, resign, and call it quits. Karina was quite good at reminding of things we've already settled. Hehe.

I guess I'm just afraid of being left behind. I think I'm actually more afraid of being so complacent and comfortable with how my life is and not taking it to the next level. I emailed Irene and Sam about my musings for yesterday and they were both telling me to go for it. There is so much more out there. Known and unknown.

Change. I think that's what I want. I sometimes feel so many changes are happening in the lives of others. I'd like a piece of the action. I also realized last weekend that lately, the universe is pushing me to want this change. I should want it bad to make it work.

Haaaay.... So many thoughts. I was talking to Karina before I got in the car. I really felt like crying. It's strange because I just had that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt heavy. She was worried that i might not be able to drive home. I was really ok. On my way home, driving along C5, I waited for the tears to come. Funny because I somehow think I was experiencing tears constipation. Haha. I knew they wanted to come out, but I couldn't will them to. Nothing overly serious!! I was having one of 'em moments. And just this morning, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" was on HBO, and the tears just came. Now I know why I love seeing those movies. They give me an excuse to work up the waterworks. Hehe.

Hence, the not feeling so great this Thursday. I stayed in. Saw "The Departed", had several slices of Shakey's Pizza, and slept. Good times bumming. I needed to rest and get away for a day.

Ok. I might be a nut case. Or my hormones have gone burserk. I knew however, while I was driving home, heavy feeling and all, that it was going to be ok. There have been worse things. And I know good things happen to good people. I am a good person, and it will happen to me soon. Maybe there are still a couple of things I need to do, which I can only do where I am and who I am right now.