A lot of Random Musings on a late Friday night

Wrote this one last Friday evening. The ramblings of a bored girl

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Friday night. Close to ten p.m. Still in the office. Hehe. I don't really mind waiting. Keysi has a conference call till ten, and I'm waiting for her text. I've put my workstation on standby. I like typing on Mac Mac II better.

My thoughts wander back to my conversations with friends and relatives these past few days. Strange (and sad), how I've spoken with so many heartbroken and confused peeps lately. There were times when I found myself repeating what I already told someone else. Perhaps because some pieces of advice are applicable to most.

Tita Marison told us that sadness passes. In Tagalog, "Lumilipas din ang kalungkutan." So at times when I'm really sad, close to depressed, I tell myself that this sadness isn't permanent, and that thought alone makes me feel a little better. Knowing that better days are on their way. And that one cannot be sad forever. Knowing that you will be better soon is also a comforting thought.

Time. Pain and confusion pass in time. For confusion, I guess it's more of... in time, you will get the clarity you are looking for. Some things will not make sense NOW. But they soon will. We all want to stop feeling rotten and bad RIGHT NOW. But then, the more consciously you make an effort to BE ok and not affected, the more difficult it is to move on and be better. I think, at times, we should just wallow in the feeling. Not pressure ourselves to move on in the pace dictated by others. Naturally, I think, we will soon hit a wall (or rock bottom). And we'll realize for ourselves that we've exhausted all our energies in being sad.

It's a matter of perspective. Which is why talking to friends help a lot. They remind you of the things you ought to know, or already know, but refuse to put into action. Most of the things that matter will dawn on you. At some point. Finding out and realizing it yourself have more impact (than hearing it from someone else). You may look at a situation a certain way one day. Sure that you know and feel is what's real, true, and right. But then, given time, clarity, the perspective of others, a situation can mean or present itself differently. It's the same situation. Different perspective. There have been times when I was confused myself. But after a few months, and some undeniable truths, I look back at the situation and realize that it may not have been what I thought it was. And a change of perspective can bring forth a certain peace of mind.

I can only imagine how it will feel like when an ex has officially moved on with someone else. That will probably be the period in an open ended sentence. Most of the time, after a break up or the parting of ways, one will continue to hope that something can still happen, or things could turn around. A comma at the end of the sentence. Most of the time, this hinders one from moving on. A finality punctuates the end of a sentence. Like a period. The someone finding someone else is the period (or an exclamation point?). And what a difficult period that could be. I try putting myself in the ex's shoes, and wow. It's tough.

Actions speak louder than words. So does inaction. Haha. One could take inaction to be not being ready, or being monumentally traumatized by the past, or just plain the absence of reciprocation. Whatever it is, it's still inaction. It's still nothing.

I'm saddened by the thought of these really great girls who put themselves out there, but are pining over guys who do not realize the greatness before them. But then, I think, if these guys don't see it, then an even sadder thought would be the conscious decision to stay with them. Relationships are not perfect, I know. But I've seen it happen. The great, great girl, huge heart, the nicest one you'll ever meet in your lifetime, who meets and fall in love with these guys who see them for who they are.

I'm no expert. I learn from my personal experience. And the experience of friends. I do like listening to other people and giving them my two cents worth. In a way, these past few months have taught me a lot about guys. About myself. About possibilities. About possibilities which could have been opportunities.

Anyway, I hope great girls find the happiness they deserve. Everyone deserves to be happy. Especially the great girls.