Sometimes

Sometimes, even the cheeriest people have bad days. Today isn't really a shitty day all throughout. But I wasn't just feeling it. I'm thinking my not-so-stellar mood can be attributed to several things.

First, the fact that people we've been working with are pushing more work our way, often times not mindful that people are people too. We can push the limits, but only for select times and instances. I just don't want them to get used to our flexibility. I've fallen into that hole in my previous project and it wasn't sustainable. It affected the team members' engagement profusely as well.

Sensible Schments says... It's just work, and I should not let it get the best of me. I think I blogged about this before. Pretty hard thing to do for people who spend an exorbitant amount of time in the office (which I don't I think. 10-12 hours a day?). I'm just trying to look ahead, asking myself if this is really what I want and if I'm willing to work on how to make it better.

Second, expectations not met. Or perhaps it should be setting too high expectations. I probably have raised the bar way too high. I still live in the world where I like to believe the golden rule still applies. Perhaps all the others who I hold dear to me have often met my expectations. I just miss having them around I guess, those who can not only read me, but who also knows what to do when I'm not myself.

Sensible Schments says... People are different. An indication of their importance to you are expectations, I guess.

Third, knowing how silly and ridiculous you're acting, and still keeping at it. There is that self-awareness that such behavior might be pushing other people away, and when the bad wave of things just blows over, you'll have nothing but regrets and guilt.

Sensible Schments says... Tis the price you pay for being transparent. Hehe. There have been super limited and select times when I've been this way. And I don't like it period. In the end, I just want to be free, as I was. It's all in the mind, and it's all about perception.

So my apologies to you, if you were a victim of today's kasungitan.

Sometimes though, during those fugly days when you're in a bad mood, the smallest thing could pull you right back up the saddle.

Schmenten in a better mood says... Liz PM (my Contiki friend) wrote to me. Also, all the joking about Jitesha and Ceasar's long lost Kung Fu Panda kuya at the moment.

I just want to be deliriously happy for once. I think I deserve it.